a little hello, happy new year and babble

 hi everybody,

I hope you are all doing well. I have not been very active on tonteria lately cause life has been an emotional ROLLERcoaster holy shit. Now im back!!! I've really been trying to find different passtimes that aren't just laying in bed and mindlessly scrolling thru tiktok/instagram. If im quite honest, im a terrible writer. So blogging is a bit of a mental challenge for me. But hey, at least my brain is doing something other than school. One of my fears is getting waaaaay too caught up in my studies. I tend to overwork a lot because i stress about school way too much. Currently, a chunk of the dopamine/any other happy hormone my brain produces originates from doing well at school, as bad or nerdy as it sounds lol. I feel really well and at peace when I'm doing really well academically. Maybe that's from years of my parents never actually being content with my perfectly fine grades? Or it's just because I have issues. Whatever the reason behind it is, I'd like to do less of the stressing this year. 

In Holland, my friends are my absolute world. Without all of them I'd literally be rocking back and forth crying in the corner of a room not even kiddddddding. The moments I have with my friends are truly what I live for; we can laugh for hours, have the bestest most heartfeltest conversations and be complete crack with eachother. I hope this year brings me an infinite amount of these moments. 

I often find that my friends and I end up talking about what our life will be like when we're older, and what the (near) future holds for us. Questions that arise are often about who all of us will end up with(!!! this one is by far the most talked about lol), who we'll be friends with when we're old, and what type of weekendhuis we'd like to buy together. If in 30 years I'm not friends with the people I'm friends with right now, I'll be really disappointed. I did realize last night that in a way, you'll never fully be rid of the people you knew in Curaçao. Most of us come back at least once a year, some come back more often. So for the next 10 years, you're pretty much stuck with seeing everyone you know, if you like it or not. And after that,  when it's time to adult the fuck up, start working and build a family, you STILL won't be rid of everybody. Your children will go to the same school as children of people you know, you'll run into people you know at supermarkets, events, doctor's offices, you get the point. This is probably not new information to lots of you but I only really truuuuuuly realized it last night lol. 

Back to my friends and i talking about who we'll end up with. All of us are such different people and have such different types. Then again I think the word "type" is insanely vague. I catch myself thinking people are attractive that look wayyyyyy different than what my friends see as my "type". I guess our types are also destined to change overtime. Who knows what my friend Sam will like in 5 to 10 years. I do hope that our significant others will all be friends and get along super well. Imagine the weekendhuis days guys!!!! I think I fantasize about these things way more than the average person and I don't necessarily know if that's bad or not? lol lmk 

Life has been extremely, INSANELY boring lately, but thinking about the future, planning ahead and remembering that this too shall pass and living life won't forever include a 1,5 meter distance keeps me going thru these :/ times.

Anyways, this was my ramble for today. From the bottom of my heart, I hope all of you have an amazing, hugs-and laughter filled, inspiring, exciting and self-enriching year.

Love,

Norah :)

here's a picture i stole from Terrence that I really like and wanted to include byebye